10 Unwritten Rules
by lostmoonchild
Summary: Brothers and sisters share a series of unwritten rules that were designed to maintain the peace. 10 basic rules that the Sand Siblings know perfectly well.
1. Rule 1: Defend Thy Sister

lostmoonchild: This is something that my brother and I came up with a while ago. It had a longer than hell title before but now there's a working title.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and neither does my brother.

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Rule One: Defend Thy Sister's Honor

Ever since the beginning of time, brothers and sisters had an unwritten rulebook between them that kept peace in the siblinghood… most of the time. Despite being completely different species that got divided up into subspecies, brothers and sisters managed to live in relative harmony with the aid of the unwritten rulebook. When it came to brothers with their sisters, the rule was simply: "Defend thy sister's honor." When the subject landed on sisters with their brothers, the rule changed simply to: "Get rid of the whore."

The rules could either be simple or complicated. Their simplicity depended entirely on the degree of planning involved or the situation. Different situations resulted in plans that either required one to rid their sibling of a potential pest before the said potential pest became someone that they no longer were willing to tolerate.

One could argue that the unwritten rules were invalid to the Sand Siblings. With the youngest brother being a former Jinchuuriki and the current Kazekage, it was easy enough to assume that the rules didn't exist. The older brother was a rumored pervert that had a potentially unhealthy love for puppets while their only sister was a woman whose skill was matched only by her sharp tongue.

When one took away titles, all they happened to be were regular siblings. As with all siblings, the unwritten rules were put into effect. At the moment, however, Gaara and Kankuro found themselves in a situation that younger brothers seemed to dread.

Their sister bringing home a guy.

It wasn't that they didn't know the guy. They knew _exactly_ who it was that their sister was bringing home except the only problem was that they couldn't understand why their sister wanted to bring him home. Temari was a kunoichi that demanded respect so why she chose to chase after the laziest shinobi that they had ever met was beyond them.

Despite knowing the lazy shinobi's reputation, it was always easier to assume that the unwritten rules would be needed. They were absolutely certain that there was a subsection in the unwritten rulebook that stated very clearly what violations would be tolerated and which ones would not. At the moment, there was only one rule that they cared for.

Defend thy sister's honor.

She warned them to behave and had even gone as far as to threaten them. This was the first time that she was bringing a guy home that wasn't family and she intended on making this go as easily as possible.

From how they had easily agreed to be polite to their guest, she knew full well that they were planning something that was possibly going to make her curse the days that they were conceived. It seriously wouldn't have been the first time that she cursed those days and certainly it wouldn't be the last.

When dealing with her brothers, it was always safe to assume that they were planning something since younger brothers always seemed to have some sort of sister complex. If older brothers had sister complexes, she couldn't say since she was the oldest of three kids unless her father had a son that none of them knew about.

Maybe having taken care of them ever since their mother died hadn't been such a smart move. They were probably more protective over her than what they should have been in the first place.

Now that she actually stopped to think about it, they did seem to be acting strangely. Hold on a minute. Did they actually think that Shikamaru was going to impose on her honor or something? What in the hell did they think she was?

Growling softly in irritation, the blonde-haired kunoichi left the house and started towards the gates where she knew Shikamaru would be arriving in a short while.

Since Shikamaru was a single child, he couldn't say that he understood the strange workings and rules that siblings seemed to have. Trying to understand the complex rules was just something that was too troublesome to attempt to figure out. As he looked at his girlfriend's two brothers, he figured that the unwritten rules of siblinghood was one of those troublesome things that he would need to learn.

So far the only thing that he was able to figure out about Temari's brothers was that they were going by some kind of unwritten rule book. It was really too bad that his friends didn't have brothers or sisters although he knew that Uchiha Sasuke had an older brother. The only problem with that theory was that A) Sasuke was no longer in Konoha and B) Even if he had been in Konoha, there was no way in hell Sasuke would have admitted to knowing any of the unwritten rules.

Now he was wishing that Temari hadn't left him alone with her brothers. "She's not that kind of girl, you know." Kankuro warned the dark-haired man. "She may not act like a girl all of the time but that doesn't mean that you can go ahead and ruin what virtue she has."

They were worried that he was going to destroy her virtue? Okay, either worrying about their older sister's virtue was something that all younger brothers did or it was just something that those two worried about. "I know she's not that kind of woman." Shikamaru said, adding emphasis on 'woman' to remind them that their sister wasn't a little girl.

Gaara looked at him with a cool gaze. He didn't need to say anything to make his warning clear to the Nara. His look plainly said that they wouldn't tolerate their sister's honor being sullied for any reason. What honor she had as a woman was different than her honor as a kunoichi.

By the time that Temari came back, her eyes narrowed slightly at her brothers. She knew they had done something and after getting Shikamaru to tell her what they had said, a sigh left her lips. "Defend thy sister's honor," she quoted with a sigh before smiling a bit at him. "Don't worry. They'll get over us being together… eventually."

Nodding slightly, Shikamaru wasn't entirely sure that he could handle another talk with her brothers if they were going by a rulebook that hadn't even been written. The rulebook that they were going by, he realized, was one that nature had allowed to be known subconsciously by both older and younger siblings.

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lostmoonchild: Okay, this is just going to be a fic of 10 different rules and each rule is going to be its own story. Honestly, I'm already seeing so much potential that it's almost funny. Each rule may not apply to other siblings but this could probably serve as a glimpse into the insanity that my younger brother and I keep each other prisoner within.


	2. Rule 2: Never Tell Who Broke What

lostmoonchild: Be afraid, be very afraid. I read the rules to my brother and he actually agrees with most of them. He just asked me about Rule 10 and where that'd come in so I had to inform him that we had already established that rule through Rule 9. Since it's probably the funniest (and dumbest) thing he and I have ever done as kids/teens, here's one of my favorite unwritten rules.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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Rule Two: Never Tell Who Broke What

Play is a natural part of growing up. Through play we learn what's required to survive in the world. It's also through play that trouble is possible.

However there is a line that's drawn between play and roughhousing. When that line is crossed then the roughhousing territory is entered. When that territory is entered that the most problems are caused and must be solved quickly.

Gaara wasn't quite sure what came over him and for a moment he was fairly certain that Kankuro hadn't known either until he responded in the same manner. The living room, the one place other than the kitchen Temari told them to never roughhouse in, became their battlefield. If she were to find out what they were doing then surely they'd be on the receiving end of a fan.

Kankuro grinned as he pulled Gaara into a headlock and proceeded to mess up his already unruly red hair. "Give up yet?" Kankuro laughed.

Gaara grunted in response, determined not to let his brother win. In response to his brother's challenge, Gaara began jabbing his brother's pressure points in an attempt to get him to let go. Finally he hit a spot that forced Kankuro to relinquish his hold and as the older brother stepped backwards, Gaara prepared to attack.

Everything slowed down to the point where it was painfully slow as the brothers crashed into each other and stumbled backwards.

Oh. Shit.

The two stared at the hole in the wall with wide eyes, both of them knowing exactly how much trouble they would be in. It didn't matter if Gaara was the Kazekage or not, he was still the youngest brother to the kunoichi with a knife for a tongue. When she saw this mess, she was going to skin them both alive.

"I won't tell if you won't."

It was a relief to know that Kankuro was even wary of their sister. Did he even dare say that his brother was just as scared of Temari as he was? If Temari got her hands on them both then they were both screwed and tattooed. Hell, she'd probably render them without butts and they'd be able to see what they'd be doing in a couple of weeks.

"I won't."

As soon as the two words were spoken, they quickly moved to cover up the whole with whatever piece of furniture could hide the evidence of their roughhousing.

They knew full well that she suspected they had done something but they were grateful to find that she hadn't been trying to find out what it was that they had done. If she knew that they had put a hole into a wall then surely she'd start demanding to know who had put the hole into the wall.

As Gaara found himself glancing back at the proof of their guilt, he was suddenly grateful that he and Kankuro had agreed not to tell. Temari's wrath was something that he didn't want to deal with anytime soon. "Are you okay, Gaara? You look a little pale." Concern showed on Temari's face as she carefully inspected her youngest brother's face.

"It's nothing, Temari." Gaara answered as he pulled away.

A frown appeared on Temari's face as she looked at him with her hands resting on her hips. "Hold it right there." Temari said as Kankuro walked past her. "I want to know which one of you put that hole in the wall."

"What hole?" Kankuro asked with feigned innocence.

Something flashed in Temari's eyes as she looked at him and suddenly Gaara felt his waver breaking. Did he tell what had happened to did he keep his mouth shut? "The hole that somebody thought I wouldn't notice! The crack goes up the wall!" Temari shouted at them.

Oh yeah. They were in really deep shit. "We had no idea that there was a hole in the wall." Kankuro said quickly. "Honestly, Temari, you could have put it in the wall while chasing your boyfriend around."

Temari raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" There was danger laced in her voice that sent chills down Gaara's spine.

Sensing the danger in her voice, Kankuro stepped backwards only to have Temari grab hold of him. Raising a nonexistent eyebrow, Gaara watched as his older siblings wrested to get the other in a headlock when they backed up into a lamp and knocked it over.

Glass shards scattered across the floor as the two older siblings froze in shock over what had happened. "None of us tell." Temari said as she let Kankuro go.

Distantly they wondered who they'd tell but decided that'd be better left alone. Somebody would probably ask about the missing lamp but none of them would tell who broke what.

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lostmoonchild: I know it's probably short but oh well. Incase somebody wants to know, yes, my brother and I have used this rule before. It just happened to involve a golf club as well as a wrestling match that sent someone into a bedroom wall. Thanks for the reviews, everybody, and I hope to see more!


	3. Rule 3: When Baking, Triple the Amount

lostmoonchlid: I know, this chapter's really, really late and I humbly apologize. Okay, this rule was just thought up since my brother came home for a couple of weeks from Afghanistan and I remembered when we were younger how he'd always steal cookie dough any time I decided to bake cookies so I had to double the batch so he could eat half of the dough and there'd still be a batch of cookies ready to go. I don't know how many siblings follow this rule but there was just something about it that seemed like fun to write about.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything else unless I say otherwise.

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Rule Three: When Baking, Triple the Amount Made

She couldn't make any decent meals to save her life but Temari of the Desert was one hell of a cook when it came to deserts. If she wasn't a kunoichi then she could have opened her own bakery and could have been transporting her goods throughout the different countries but she had chosen to be a kunoichi and a sister to her brothers.

Except in a few minutes she was going to be a murderer to her brothers. Every single time she turned her back to get something or to take something out of the oven, one of them would come in and steal the cookie dough that was still in the bowl. "Gaara!" Temari shouted as she threw a pan at her youngest brother.

The sand moved to protect Gaara as he darted out of the kitchen, a smirk evident on his face as he put the raw dough in his mouth. People could complain all they wanted about eating dough raw because of the eggs but it was still fun and an excellent way to test ninja skills. There was nothing more amusing than attempting ninja skills on a fellow ninja that just happened to be making cookies.

Temari smiled faintly at the memory of her and Kankuro trying to take the cookie dough bowl out of the kitchen whenever their mother would make cookies for them. Each time they'd get caught but that just taught them how to improve their skills. Then their mother died and there were no more cookies until she taught herself how to bake.

Then a few years ago Kankuro started to teach Gaara the wonders of stealing cookie dough. The youngest brother hadn't understood the reasoning behind it but had quickly grown to appreciate the challenges involved and the knowledge that they were, in a sense, bonding as siblings. "Kankuro!" Even if there was a bit of physical danger involved.

The blonde kunoichi sighed as she rubbed her forehead in irritation. In a few minutes one of them would be in to distract her while the other one attempted to escape with the bowl. If that happened then there'd only be a dozen cookies and she'd be forced to make more in the morning which she really didn't want to do. It was just remarkable how quickly those two could eat cookies and how many of them they could eat without getting sick.

_Thud._

"Don't you think that I knew you'd attempt that, little brother?" Temari questioned as she set her fan down next to her and moved the bowl.

Kankuro rubbed his sore head and glared at his older sister as she set the bowl down next to the stove. Shit. Now they'd have to try even harder to get past their sister and to the delicious snack that called for them. "It was worth it." Kankuro grinned as he showed his sister the chunk of cookie dough he had managed to snatch. "See ya!"

Glancing towards the cabinet that held each one of the bowls used for cookies and every other desert, Temari grinned and nodded slightly to herself before setting up her trap.

She was planning something, they could just feel it.

Gaara and Kankuro poked their heads into the kitchen and quickly looked around for any traps that she may have set up. Their sister may have been blonde but none of the blonde jokes that portrayed blondes as idiots had any truth to them when it came to her. Naruto, sure, those jokes were true but untrue when it came to Temari. They could each testify the amount of ferociousness that their sister had when it came to them doing something to mess up whatever she was working on.

The two brothers snuck into the kitchen and towards the stove to where their prize waited for them. Their sister had gone to check on a load of laundry so she'd be back in a few minutes which meant that they needed to hurry and take as much as they could. "Grab the bowl." Kankuro whispered loudly.

Gaara nodded in silent understanding as he swiped the bowl and the two darted out of the kitchen as fast as they could. Temari had dropped her guard and all that would come out of the cookie dough was maybe a dozen cookies because of it. Nodding in congratulations towards each other, the two brothers quickly darted upstairs to enjoy their prize.

Temari smiled as she came back from checking on the laundry and released the genjutsu she had put on the cookie dough. Her brothers surely had seen the rolling pin that was waiting by the dough and had probably just figured she was planning on making something else. "What in the hell?" Temari heard Kankuro shout in apparent shock.

She fought back a laugh at the imaginary looks on her brothers' faces. They thought they were getting a bowl full of cookie dough when in truth, they were getting a bowl that had four sticks of butter in it. "When you guys are done munching on the butter, bring it back down here!" Temari shouted to her brothers.

The two came back down just as she was putting more of the cookie dough on the baking sheets and smiled at the looks of disappointment in their eyes. "Honestly, you two." Temari said as the two plopped down at the kitchen table.

"You're mean using a genjutsu like that." Kankuro grumbled as Gaara nodded in agreement.

"You both know that I love you dearly." She turned her back to them for a moment, sliding some cookies onto a plate. "You're going to make yourselves sick eating all of that cookie dough so I did what I needed to just to make sure you didn't make yourselves sick."

"What if we had decided to eat the butter, huh? What would you have done then?"

"Sent you both down to the market to get more."

The brothers groaned in response and perked up when she sat a plate down between them. "Temari…" Gaara said with a surprised look.

Sitting on the plate were three cookies and some cookie dough that was divided into three parts. "As if I'm going to pass up cookie dough and cookies with my little brothers." Temari laughed as she sat down. "Now enjoy before I decide to start enjoying your shares."

Basic rule number three: when baking, always triple the amount made.

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Annora: That could have been so much better, you idiot.

lostmoonchild: Hey! I'm basing the rules off of how Jake and I survived nearly two decades with each other. Maybe I should have him write the next chapter.

Annora: No, you'll get off of your lazy butt and start writing the chapters. You know full well that these nice people are taking the time and reading your stories so you'll give them another chapter soon.

lostmoonchild: Yeah, you're right. So, ladies and gents, read and review before Nama kills me!


	4. Rule 4: Learn The Phrase

lostmoonchild: Yes, I have updated this story again. This one I just couldn't resist writing since I was reminiscing and I had a flashback about ordering my brother to buy me chocolate and begging… well, if you're a sister and you've gotten your brother to buy you what was needed then you'll probably get it. Anyway, thanks for the review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything else unless I say otherwise.

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Rule 4: Learn "The Phrase"

There was a phrase that Kankuro learned at the age of eleven or twelve to listen for and signs to watch for. He hadn't been certain at first if Gaara understood the reason why he should listen for "the words" but he quickly realized that despite being a homicidal madman, Gaara was one of the smart guys that watched and listened.

The phrase to listen for: "That time of the month."

It was a phrase that every brother should know and that surely every father feared. It didn't matter whether the brother was older or younger since it was still five words that sent seemingly every male running in the opposite direction. Running in the opposite direction from Temari was a feat that neither brother dared to do in fear of their sister hunting them down and torturing them.

Kankuro stiffened when he heard Temari's pained moans and immediately looked at the calendar. Shit! No wonder Gaara had taken off so early to the office. "Uh, Temari, are you okay?" Kankuro asked, barely opening his sister's bedroom door.

"Get out!" Temari screamed.

Immediately he shut the door and took a deep breath. Okay, so it was getting close to that time. "Do you want me to get you anything?" Kankuro questioned hesitantly.

"Chocolate."

Of course. Okay, so she was craving chocolate so they had maybe two hours before she actually started. The cramps were beginning and he knew that the chocolate craving would reach its peak in about five minutes so…

He darted down to the kitchen and grabbed a bar of dark chocolate from the cabinet before darting back upstairs. "I come with chocolate and in peace." Kankuro said as he opened the door and waved the chocolate bar so Temari could see.

"Give it."

Venturing into his sister's room while she was this… hormonal always proved to be a dangerous feat in itself. Like clockwork she'd go on a cleaning and organizing spree that wasn't limited solely to her room but would move to the kitchen and living room areas. Then during the day as soon as the cramps subsided she'd start cleaning their rooms which they had decided not to complain about but would hide anything that they didn't want her to see or know about.

Now he envied Gaara for having friends in Konoha. The lucky bastard could just take off during Temari's "monthly visitor" and not have to worry about a damn thing. Of course the Kazekage wouldn't leave his own big brother alone to face the wrath of the blonde-haired kunoichi… would he?

Temari's eyes flashed as she snatched the chocolate away from him and tore the wrapper off before taking a bite of the chocolate. Did Shikamaru even know what Temari was like during this time or was the shadow manipulator blissfully ignorant? Seeing as the two were still content with each other's company and going by the sounds that would come from Temari's room during Shikamaru's visit… the lucky bastard still was.

The brunette darted out of the room in time to avoid being bashed on the head and slammed the door behind him earning a "don't slam the door!" from Temari. If people hadn't insisted on there being a kunoichi in pretty much every single squad then Kankuro was fairly certain that he would have lived in blissful ignorance. Then again he had Temari as a sister so he had been able to live in blissful ignorance until he was twelve and he thought his sister was dying.

Now he wasn't overly positive if his fears as a twelve year old boy had gone completely unfounded. He had seen his sister clutching the area either to the left or the right beneath her belly button and could remember all the times she had forced herself to smile and tell him that she'd be okay only to be curled up in pain. They had even been careful to adjust their missions so she'd be home when that time hit since he was fairly certain that even Gaara had been afraid that first and only mission they had been so far away from home and Temari had been in agony. She had torn into the enemy shinobi so badly that it seemed like she was the one that had been possessed by Shukaku.

Walking down to the kitchen the brunette pulled some cheese out of the fridge and tore a chunk off before tossing it towards the living room. "You took off pretty quickly this morning." Kankuro commented lightly as he tore himself a chunk of cheese.

Gaara frowned slightly as he sat down and chewed on his slice of cheese silently. "Does she have her chocolate?" Gaara questioned.

"Yep. Girly stuff's even stocked up in her bathroom."

The people at the store were used to one of them buying Temari's supplies and if it weren't for the fact that the two brothers were a couple of the strongest shinobi in the village, they surely would have been laughed at. Kankuro could still remember how hot his cheeks had gotten when he realized exactly what his sister had sent him to buy. He even remembered the fight that came afterwards when a couple of Chuunin thought that it'd be fun to torment him and accuse him of wanting to be a girl.

Just because he liked them didn't mean that he wanted to be one.

"She was holding both sides earlier." Gaara commented patiently.

Both sides instead of just one? If only he didn't know what exactly was where her hands would push against each time. "At least we know he didn't get her pregnant." Kankuro muttered darkly. "This time."

Gaara nodded in agreement, his teal eyes darkening slightly at the thought. Temari was theirs as far as the redhead was concerned and it was only out of curiosity as well as fear that he was even allowing the lazy shadow manipulator to see their sister. The first time that they heard their sister was pregnant was going to be the last time that the Nara would know he was capable of reproduction.

"Gaara! Kankuro!" Temari shouted from upstairs. "Where's my stuff?" The two brothers looked at each other before scrambling for the door. There was no way in hell they were going to go to the store just to buy her any tampons. It was bad enough they had to do that but it was even worse that they knew exactly how heavily their sister's time of month was.

She always looked a little pale after five days but it was always a day they both looked forward to. That meant they had survived another five days and wouldn't need to worry about it again for another month. "Ugh, somebody kill me already." Temari moaned softly as she curled up on the couch.

The last day or so much have hurt just a little bit still but they were content with the knowledge that once again, knowing "the phrase" had saved them from any lasting damage. Hair could be grown again and clothes would be replaced without any complaints.

The brothers just wondered how they were going to explain a broken window and the reason why Naruto had been admitted into the Suna hospital when they didn't know. Then again, Konoha's Hokage _was_ female so all they'd have to say was the phrase and surely she'd understand… just as long as the phrase was the same in Konoha as it was for Suna.

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lostmoonchild: I would like to point out that it is possible to feel with ovary is kicking out an egg and that it can serve as a heads up. I was seriously just thinking back to when my brother and I were kids and this chapter was created as a "Hey, this is something any brother who has a sister might be able to relate to." Anyway, four rules down and six to go. Read and review, ja ne for now!


	5. Rule 5: Attempt to Make Things Okay

lostmoonchild: Yay, me got reviews! My family (and brother) learned the last lesson really quickly although my dad made it a point to say that his little girl was growing up. This rule is probably one of the sweeter ones that some siblings try to follow while others... well, not so much.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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Rule Five: Attempt to Make Things Okay

It wasn't often that Temari saw one of her brothers look upset about anything and when she did, she felt this need to fix whatever it was that had gone wrong. She couldn't say that her relationship with Shikamaru was perfect since it was long distance but they somehow made it work. It was just the relationships what her brothers found themselves in that seemed to go wrong.

It was a simple compulsion, Temari reasoned, that was drawn from nature devising a method to ensure the survival of all members of a pack. She was the oldest thus it was her job to make things okay again for her brothers and her brothers would try to make things okay for her if the need ever arose. That was the most logical reason (other than her brothers hadn't quite accepted the idea they would need to _share_ her attention) behind their willingness to cause Shikamaru harm if he ever did anything to hurt her. As Kankuro had warned the Nara when he thought she wasn't listening, "If you break our sister's heart, I swear I'll pound your face in."

When she saw the look in Kankuro's eyes, she felt all logic leaving her mind and the instinct to hold him and make everything okay take over. "Her parents think that I'm going to knock her up and ditch her." Kankuro told the woman after a few minutes of being hugged tightly. "She decided to believe them over me."

She knew how much her brother liked the girl and cradled him the best she could in her arms. He had grown so tall that it was almost impossible to believe that they were actually siblings and that holding them like she had done when they were children was harder. "Then she's an idiot." Temari stated simply. "Anybody who believes what another person says about you knocking someone up and leaving them is an idiot." Temari stated, not wanting to mention the fact that the girl's parents hadn't liked Kankuro to begin with. "She knows you and still she decided to believe her parents? That doesn't sound like she truly loved you, Kanky."

Kankuro growled softly at the nickname but chose not to respond further. It wasn't like she was saying it to be irritating or anything. She was just saying it to show that she was going to do what she needed to make everything okay for him. "I know. It's just that I actually liked her." Kankuro responded.

"What about that one girl in Konoha that you're always chasing around? That psycho one with the hair?"

Psycho one with the hair? Kankuro frowned slightly as he thought before the metaphorical light bulb went off. "Oh, her!" A grin spread across his face. "Yeah, I could go for her. The kunai happy ones are always the more fun ones anyway."

As she watched her brother bound upstairs with a grin on his face, Temari leaned back into the couch and sighed. The kunai happy ones may have been more fun but if she had to keep directing her brother towards the ones that he chased at some point in time then one of the kunai happy ones would make sure he wasn't going to be getting happy for a while. Hopefully he'd find the one kunai happy girls that made him happy. If not, well, she supposed she could always suggest that he gives guys a try.

She hadn't known exactly how long after Shukaku was taken from Gaara it had been before her little brother finally started to sleep. She had been grateful the first time she saw him sleeping without worries and had made sure that no one disturbed him.

She only wished she knew about the nightmares before he started coming in to her room like a child.

"Temari."

The kunoichi opened her eyes and stared at her youngest brother. While he was only sixteen it was clear to her that he associated her with safety and comfort. "What is it?" Temari questioned as she sat up.

"I had a nightmare."

Her eyes were soft as she scooted over and threw the blankets back in a silent invitation. Gaara was silent as he laid down on her bed and stared into space as she tucked the blankets around him before she laid down so her forehead was resting against his red hair. "Nightmares are just the mind's way of processing information that otherwise is difficult to come to peace with." Temari said softly. "They're normal."

"Normal?" He knew he was normal now but the idea was hard to get used to.

"Yeah."

He closed his eyes for a moment as he breathed in his sister's scent. "I was alone. There were shadows all around me and they were screaming, demanding to know why I killed them." Gaara said finally. "I couldn't justify why. I couldn't explain why I had felt the need then to take their lives. Even if it was self defense I had no explanation."

Temari's eyes were soft as she hugged her little brother tightly. "I think every shinobi's had that kind of nightmare before, Gaara." Temari murmured softly. "We don't always think before we kill and sometimes we don't understand the reasons why."

"Then why did I have that nightmare?"

Her lips brushed against his forehead as her eyes closed for a second. "It's bothering you more than you realize so your dreams are helping you work through your guilt." Temari said finally. "It's normal. Just like I told you."

Apparently soothed by his sister's words Gaara nestled against her and listened to the sound of her heart beating softly against her chest. Lulled by the familiar lullaby, Gaara slowly drifted off to sleep.

Gaara didn't need to see his siblings to know when they were upset. He couldn't explain it other than a desire of some kind to bring a smile to whichever sibling's face. Even his desire didn't have enough words to accurately describe what it was that he felt.

With Shukaku he had felt so alone in the world. Then he had met Naruto and things steadily began to get better. He wasn't alone, he realized. There was someone out there like him and with that knowledge he began to accept his brother and sister unconditionally.

As he stared at his brother he wondered what exactly it was that was bothering him. Was it that girl that he had been getting serious with or was it something else? "Kankuro?" Gaara questioned.

Kankuro looked at his little brother for a moment before forcing a smile. "Hey, Gaara. What's up?" Kankuro questioned.

"What's wrong?"

Dark eyes widened in shock before another mask was set up over the hurt that he so clearly felt. "Nothing's wrong." Kankuro said quickly.

"Is it that girl?"

The stiffening of his brother's shoulders told Gaara that it was indeed what he had thought. Sitting down next to his older brother it was clear that the girl had done something to avertedly hurt Kankuro. "You remember how her parents hated me and thought that I'd knock her up and ditch her?" Kankuro questioned.

"Yes. Temari was unhappy about the whole thing."

"Turns out that she got herself a new boyfriend. He did exactly what her parents thought I'd do and now they think that I transformed into the guy and got her knocked up."

Gaara raised a nonexistent eyebrow. Just how in the world did they get that idea when the guy took off on his own accord when Kankuro had been in Konoha playing cat-and-mouse with that crazy kunai-happy kunoichi? Gaara could easily prove that his brother hadn't been anywhere near Suna during that period of time and he was absolutely certain that Lady Tsunade would be more than willing to help. Then again that would explain why he had gotten a scroll that requested his brother give a DNA test. "What does she have to say about it?" Gaara questioned finally.

Kankuro sighed. "She's going with what her parents are saying." Kankuro told him. "I was thinking about seeing if Temari would have any ideas but I decided to try and get things figured out first."

"I recall seeing a scroll earlier today where Konoha's Academy is in need for a temporary teacher." Gaara said nonchalantly. "The Fifth Hokage thought that maybe there'd be a shinobi or two here that would like to spend some time in Konoha helping out. A sort of cultural class, I guess you could say."

Was it just him or was Gaara providing him with a way to get away from the drama that was unfolding in his life? "You're serious." Kankuro stated.

"I just thought you'd like to know. If you're interested then I can send word that you'd like to help."

Kankuro smiled wryly. "You know they're going to demand a DNA test with the kid's born. Just so I can prove that I'm not the kid's father."

"I know. Provide the sample before you leave for Konoha and when the baby's born we can show that you're not."

"You know, for a little brother you're not half bad. For a Kazekage you're a damn good one."

He wasn't sure what to say about that but he couldn't deny the feeling that had filled his chest when he saw the smile that had appeared on his brother's face. That feeling was one he couldn't quite describe but he knew that he had done his brother right and had lifted his spirits considerably since this whole mess began.

* * *

lostmoonchild: Okay, my personal fave would prolly be the Gaara/Kankuro one or the Gaara/Temari one. Either way, a sibling moment is a sibling moment and a moment that is usually either cherished or looked back on as an embarrassing memory. Read and review, flames are accepted!


	6. Rule 6: The Talk

lostmoonchild: Yay reviews! I love reading what you guys gotta say so I'm really happy! This one was actually inspired by my brother and I making it very clear that the other was to have privacy when with our "significant other" and I'm proud to say that we manage that rule pretty well after establishing a few threats regarding what would happen if pregnancy were to result. Thankfully neither of us have had *this* scenario happen so enjoy! Without further ado, here's the sixth rule!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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Rule Six: The Talk

There comes a time in every sibling's life where the elder or younger sibling introduces the first boyfriend or girlfriend. Before such momentous occasions talks are generally held regarding what is expected and what will not be done. With some siblings the talk eventually turns to the one topic that is usually unavoidable.

Sex.

Gaara had never considered the idea that his sister's boyfriend would be staying with them for a couple of weeks nor had he expected the blonde to pull him and Kankuro both into the living room. "Okay, you two," Temari sighed, "we need to have the talk."

Immediately Kankuro jumped up. "Whoa! I already know the birds and the bees so don't-" Kankuro said quickly before Temari interrupted with an agitated look on her face.

"Not _that_ talk! The _other_ talk."

At that Gaara was confused. How could have Kankuro assumed the birds and the bees talk when Temari was talking about some other talk? What other talk could there be? When he voiced his question, Temari and Kankuro both groaned. Their little brother's experiences with the opposite sex was becoming plainer and plainer as the days passed and his question proved it. "Basically there's a rule regarding when a sibling has their _significant other_," Kankuro smirked as he said the last two words, "over."

"An unwritten rule."

An unwritten rule regarding a sibling's significant other staying over? Gaara frowned slightly realizing that he had no idea what they were talking about. "I don't understand." Gaara stated finally.

"Remember last month when Kankuro had that girl over and I told you not to go into his room?" Temari questioned. Upon seeing Gaara's slight nod she continued, "Well, that's the rule. When one sibling has their significant other, or in Kankuro's case current lay, over then the other siblings need to give them privacy."

Gaara nodded slightly in understanding. "When the Nara comes over, you wish for us to follow that rule." Gaara stated simply.

"Yes."

Kankuro put an arm around his little brother's neck. "You see, Gaara, there's a chance that Temari and the Nara are going to have sex and it's just not right that a little brother sees his older sister being nailed by some guy." Kankuro stated. "So to prevent that from happening she's invoking her right to make sure we understand that he's coming to stay so we're to leave them alone so they can bang each other." Temari's face turned bright red at her brother's blatant comment.

"Kankuro!" Temari scolded.

"It's true and you know it." Kankuro's attention returned to Gaara. "When you finally start bringing a girl, or even a guy, home then we'll follow that rule and let you two nail the shit out of each other."

"Kankuro!"

A girl or even a guy? Gaara frowned slightly as he thought about his older brother's words, his mind immediately thinking of Naruto. The blonde was the only person that came to stay with them and hung out with him but neither Temari or Kankuro left them alone. They insisted on checking up on the two and there was always a nervous look on the blonde's face whenever one of the older siblings would give him some kind of look. "Why would I want to do such a thing with a guy?" Gaara questioned.

"Kankuro, you idiot!" Temari hissed before giving her youngest brother a soothing look. "Don't worry about it, Gaara. Kankuro's just being an idiot."

Despite his sister's words Gaara still couldn't help but wonder what exactly Kankuro had meant. Was there something wrong with him that his brother and sister could see but he couldn't? He hadn't really shown any interest in anybody other than Naruto but his brother's words made it seem like there was something about it. Something that he should have known. "Don't worry about it. Temari just wanted to make sure that we knew to leave her and Nara alone so they could nail each other." Kankuro chuckled.

"I'm going to beat you." Temari warned the brunette. "So quit while you're ahead."

"Yeah, yeah." Kankuro stood up and stretched a little. "Well, I'm off to see this cute girl. Wanna tag, Gaara?"

"No." He had things he needed to think about.

Shrugging slightly Kankuro left the house leaving Gaara and Temari alone. "Don't worry about it." Temari got up and hugged her youngest brother. "You're my little brother and I'll love you no matter what."

* * *

"Gaara, I'm going to kill you!"

Gaara raised an eyebrow at his sister, seeing that she only covered herself with a sheet while the Nara boy fell out of the bed. "I had a question." Gaara stated simply, ignoring the fact that both his sister and the Nara were nude.

"Get. Out. Now." Temari snarled.

He knew that his sister was upset that he had gone into her room but in all fairness the two were sleeping and not "nailing each other" as Kankuro called it. "What did Kankuro mean 'or even a guy" earlier?" Gaara questioned.

"Kankuro! Get your ass in here and get Gaara out of here before I kill you both!" Temari screamed.

Whether it was her threat or the sheer volume of her voice Gaara couldn't be certain but he was almost amazed at how quickly Kankuro ran into the room, grabbed his wrist, and jerked him out of the room before slamming the door behind them. "Damn it." Kankuro panted, his heart racing against his chest. "You pissed her off."

Gaara didn't reply for a moment before answering, "I wanted to ask a question. She never gave me an answer."

"Remember that talk we had earlier?"

"Yes."

"You broke the unwritten rule. She has dibs on doing the same thing when you bring someone home for a while and want some private time." Kankuro sighed. "Remember, we're her brothers and she loves us. That's the only excuse you are to give when she asks us why she shouldn't just kill us."

"Why?"

As if sensing their sister's approach he answered, "Because that's the only explanation that'll save our asses. You might be the Kazekage but she'll still clobber us."

"Kankuro?"

"What?"

Gaara raised a nonexistent eyebrow before asking, "What makes you think I'll want to have intercourse with a male?"

* * *

lostmoonchild: Okay, I couldn't resist having Gaara ask that one as an ending. I would have loved to have Temari scream at them some more but I was kind of chuckling at the whole Shika fell out of bed thing. Read and review, minna-sama!


	7. Rule 7: Snitches Shall be Punished

lostmoonchild: Wow, six reviews this time around. Nice. Okay, I'd like to thank everybody who has left a review and/or has added this story to their favorites. I'd especially like to thank **ArtIsABangDeidaraLove4Ever** for getting my butt moving with perhaps the most important rule regarding snitches and **Akira Acumichi** for her suggestion that Gaara should be with Hinata. I was honestly leaning towards him making out with Naruto but your suggestion was so much better.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did then we'd all be able to see Kakashi's face.

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Rule Seven: Snitches Shall be Punished

Gaara didn't know why his brother _liked_ the crazy ones or even why he liked kunai happy girls. Most of all, he didn't know why his brother was so ecstatic when crazy and kunai happy both came from one girl. He personally saw those kinds of girls as reasons to watch your back and to sleep with one eye open but his brother always had been a little off in the head when it came to women.

Temari liked that lazy Nara boy and Kankuro liked that Anko woman but his attention was on somebody more quiet. Her white eyes so full of shyness that he couldn't help but wonder what she was like once the shyness was taken away, the way she'd press her index fingers together when talking about something that made her blush. Most of all, Gaara decided that he liked her voice.

Fortunately for him, Naruto had decided to drag him over to visit with the woman. "Hinata-chan!" Naruto shouted happily as he hugged the woman.

"N-Naruto-kun." Hinata responded with a blush before bowing slightly. "L-Lord Kazekage."

"Just Gaara will do. I'm not here on official business." Gaara told her.

Hinata's face turned bright red for a moment before she nodded quickly in understanding. "I was just telling Gaara that you've got a pretty good idea of what's good to drink." Naruto said with a grin. "Obviously he's not from around here and so far he's shot down every single drink I thought he'd like. You wanna take a stab at what he might like?"

Gaara wasn't certain that his friend had tried to get him to try every single drink that he could think of simply by the look in his blue eyes. It was a look that Gaara had long ago learned meant that he was scheming and to be wary. From how Hinata was suddenly looking a little wary it was a lesson she had learned as well from Knucklehead Ninja 101. "I-If you w-want me to." Hinata looked at Gaara with a slightly questioning look. "I-Is that o-okay?"

A single glance in his brother's direction told him that Kankuro was more interested in if it was possible for someone to choke someone else with their tongue than what his little brother was doing. "If you want." Gaara shrugged.

White eyes studied him for a moment, Naruto's blue eyes dancing with excitement. From how he was barely able to bite back a grin it was clear to the redhead that Naruto had seen the shy woman do this sort of thing before and with great accuracy. After a few minutes she made an order for a drink that Gaara wasn't even sure. "Here." Hinata handed him the drink.

Teal eyes regarded the drink with wariness before he lightly sniffed it. It smelled okay but so did half of the drinks that Naruto offered him. Surely this angel wouldn't have picked up any of Naruto's habits… would she?

Deciding to throw caution to the wind, the redhead took a sip of the drink and paused as the sweet flavor rushed over his tongue to be replaced by an almost tangy flavor. Nodding his approval the young Kazekage frowned when Naruto began laughing. "See? Hinata-chan's got a talent for this kind of thing. If baa-chan wasn't stuck on her sake then I bet Hinata-chan could figure out what exactly baa-chan would drink!" Naruto laughed as he threw an arm around the woman's shoulders. "Hey! There's Kiba! Kiba!"

Hinata's cheeks turned red again when Naruto released her to go chasing after the Inuzuka. "Kiba made a bet with Naruto." Hinata explained softly. "Is your drink really okay?"

"It's fine." Gaara confirmed as he looked at her. "I'll be sure to pay you back for the drink."

Immediately her eyes widened. "Oh, no. Y-You don't n-need to do that, L-Lord Kazekage!" Hinata protested.

"I thought I told you to just call me Gaara." His voice was low as he murmured the words into her ear.

He couldn't help but smirk as her cheeks turned bright red from embarrassment. "G-Gomen." Hinata stammered.

Her cheeks turned an even brighter shade as he cupped her heated cheek in his hand before lowering his head. A jolt shot through their beings as their lips met in a silent kiss, both unaware of the brown eyes that were watching with a mischievous glint.

"So you and that Hyuuga heiress. Nice." Kankuro commented the next morning.

Gaara glared at his brother through his splitting headache, trying to remember if anybody had taken anything remotely hard to his head. "Shut up." Gaara groaned.

"Well, at least Temari and I don't need to worry about you finding a girl. Then again you could just swing both ways and be blissfully ignorant." Kankuro sighed softly. "I wonder what Temari would say if she found out that you were having a make-out session in a bar."

The brunette stiffened when sand suddenly surrounded him, his brown eyes dancing with excitement as he looked at Gaara. "You will _not_ tell Temari." Gaara snarled dangerously.

The last thing he wanted was to have his _sister_ of all people getting involved with his love life. He could just imagine what she'd do the next time she came to Konoha and decided to check out her youngest brother's fascination. She'd probably make Hinata start crying or make her want to stay away from him.

His heart clenched painfully at the thought and he looked at his brother for an explanation as the sand released him. "Gaara, sorry but you're in love." Kankuro stated. "I'd call it lust but I know lust and that look wasn't lust."

"Tell Temari and I'll make you regret it." Gaara warned his older brother.

"My lips are sealed."

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^

"So then Naruto drags him over to that Hyuuga heiress so she could try to determine what drink Gaara would like and he'd been staring at her like he'd just seen the light for the first time. So she picks out a drink and of course he downs it after their make out session."

"He what?" Temari questioned with wide eyes as Kankuro took another shot of sake.

"Oh, yeah. Gaara and that Hyuuga heiress had a make out session right there in the bar. I thought they were going to drown each other in spit but I guess they remembered that they need air." Kankuro laughed.

The two siblings laughed as they each took another shot, each of them fairly drunk. "So what happened afterwards?" Temari questioned.

Kankuro grinned and leaned forward a little before whispering, "He offered to walk her home but I guess one of her teammates was worried that he'd ruin the Hyuuga girl's _innocence_ or something so I grabbed Gaara and we went back to the room. Of course he told me not to tell you."

"You realize if he finds out then he'll be able to get revenge."

"Nah. Just don't say anything and we'll be good."

Oh, if only he realized that the little brother they both were talking about had been listening the entire time and planning his revenge.

Too. Bright.

Kankuro groaned as he slowly opened his eyes before realizing that everything was not only upside down but he wasn't in his room! Instead he was in the center of the village hanging upside down in a cocoon of sand with a crowd gathering around him with questioning looks on their faces. "Tell Gaara to let me down!" Kankuro shouted at one of the Jounin.

The Jounin took off in a flash and a couple minutes later the brunette found himself crashing down to the ground. Brushing the sand from his clothes, he froze when he realized that he wasn't wearing _his_ clothes. Instead he looked like he was wearing one of Temari's more formal outfits. "_Gaara!_" Kankuro shouted as he kicked off the heels and darted towards the house.

He was so dead. Kazekage or not, Gaara was going to die again.

^v^v^v^v^

He hadn't anticipated his prank being this amusing and from how Temari was struggling to hold back her laughter, it was clear that she found the joke amusing too. He had to admit that pink was a color that suited his brother fairly well and the makeup that he had stolen from Temari's room looked pretty good if he said so himself. "You are so dead." Kankuro growled at his younger brother.

"I believe I told you not to tell Temari about my little tryst in Konoha and you did so last night." Gaara responded simply. "I believe that it's my duty as the one being snitched on that revenge was justly due."

"You… You…"

"Get yourself cleaned up, Kankuro." Temari laughed. "Maybe next time you'll remember to keep your trap shut when told not to snitch."

Kankuro frowned in irritation and was about to leave when Gaara held up a hand for him to stop. "By the way, that dress looks very nice on you." Gaara commented. "The makeup isn't too bad either."

Raising his middle finger to his little brother, Kankuro sneered before teleporting himself from the room. Payback was a bitch but as he looked in the mirror, he couldn't help but be proud that his little brother had taken the time to plan such an ingenious way of beating him.

It was just too bad he didn't know that Gaara had taken a picture of the outcome of his work.

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lostmoonchild: I neither confirm nor deny that I may or may not have given my brother such an interesting punishment for snitching on me. I will confirm however that I was laughing at the mental image produced by Kankuro being in a pink dress with makeup (eyeshadow, blush, lip gloss, ect...) so I think this rule pretty much got ruined. Ja ne for now and please leave a review!


	8. Rule 8: When in Doubt

lostmoonchild: Sorry the update took forever, minna-san! SoDak Con is next week (Jan. 15-16) and I wanted to get my costume 100% done before then so there's no freakouts. Everybody that's done a cosplay and made their costume by hand probably knows the stress that comes along when the convention rolls around and there's still things to be done. Due to that stress (I don't handle it very well) I ended up not updating chapters and I am sooooo sorry! I know, "Yeah, yeah, we've heard it before." so in apologies, here's Rule Eight. Unfortunately there wasn't that much inspiration for this one so it's kinda short.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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Rule Eight: When in Doubt

Little brothers or even sisters, it seemed, were notorious for looking things that were really best left alone. When it came to her brothers and looking through her things, Temari supposed that her brothers were really quite normal. Especially when her journal was involved.

She couldn't begin to count how many times she had caught Kankuro reading her journal or how many times she had beaten him up. She could count, however, how many times she had caught Gaara. Thankfully it had taken one well placed punch for him to get the idea that her journal was off limits to everybody except her.

It must have been some kind of compulsion that drove the two to look through her things or maybe it was a lack of friends in the village. Or maybe, she decided, it was nature's way of trying to make sure they all knew which one was the dominant sibling. If they knew what was good for them then they'd have to be sure to leave her things alone or else face her wrath.

Kankuro knew full well that he was playing with fire as he ventured into his sister's room but he needed answers as to why she was suddenly looking as if the world suddenly had accepted them and their… oddities. It wasn't a huge secret that some of the villagers weren't pleased that each of the siblings had chosen a lover from Konoha although nobody could deny that the village did produce some well bred individuals. Even that Naruto character had some excellent lineage since it became public knowledge that his father had been the Fourth Hokage and that his mother came from a very well to do family in what used to be the Whirlpool Country.

His brown eyes flickered to the door as he moved to Temari's bed and slipped a hand under the mattress, smiling with satisfaction when his fingers gripped a hardcover book. With his target acquired he ran from the room as fast as he could.

"You really don't learn, do you?" Gaara questioned with a small disapproving frown as he watched his brother flip through their sister's journal.

"You can't deny being a little curious as to why she's in such a good mood." Kankuro told his brother. "Let's see… she started up with her good mood a week after that Nara went home."

He really didn't want to get caught with his sister's journal but Kankuro was right. He couldn't deny being curious and he knew that his sister didn't have any friends in Suna. Then again none of them did seeing as everyone was anxious around the siblings.

Sometimes he envied Naruto for having lived with blissful ignorance of his own demon and parentage.

"Well?" Gaara asked.

"She wasn't feeling right so she went to the hospital."

They both knew that because she had let them know she was going to the doctor's the day before just so there were no surprises. "We know that." Gaara said gruffly.

Kankuro's eyes scanned the page before saying, "Well, the doctor ran some tests and said that he'd get back to her within a couple days." He flipped through some pages. "Okay, doctor got back to her and…"

"And what?"

"And you two are so dead!"

Both men jumped and dodged an attack that came from their infuriated sister. She snatched the journal back, clutching it against her chest as she glared at them with flashing eyes. "Hehe… Hi, Temari?" Kankuro said with a sheepish grin.

"You two have until the count of three to get out of my sight. One."

"Temari, c'mon. Let's talk about-"

"Two."

The two backed away as their sister began to advance. "Temari…" Gaara said with a warning look.

"Three."

No sooner had the word left her lips did the two take off. Kazekage or not, it was a common shinobi rule to know when to run and fight another day. When it came to his sister's temper Gaara knew that it was always safer to run and fight another day. When they were a safe distance away the redhead looked at his brother with a questioning look. "What put her in a good mood?" Gaara questioned.

"Never mind that for now. You and I are going to make sure that the Nara bastard marries her."

"Why?"

"The bastard got her pregnant."

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lostmoonchild: Okay, in retrospect there was probably something else I coulda added but I'll save that stuff for the next rule or two. Holy crap, just realized that there are two rules left before this whole thing is done! Yeesh, where'd the time go? Anyway, read and review and I promise that flames are accepted.


	9. Rule 9: Two Plus Two isn't Always Four

lostmoonchild: Thanks for the reviews, minna-san! I know, I'm shocked too that there's an update only a few short days after I last updated. Somebody's probably wondering if I feel okay and all I really have to say is that I'm waiting with great anticipation for Friday to roll around so we can head off to Rapid but until then I need something to do and I've been working on chapters so I decided to post them before I forget.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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Rule Nine: Two Plus Two isn't Always Four

Temari considered it a good thing that she had vacation coming her way and that it had come two days after her brothers had read her journal and discovered her pregnancy. They had thought that they had gotten away with nothing more than the silent treatment and being forced to fend for themselves but they didn't know that she was going to get them back. Of course it wouldn't be anything that would damage Gaara's reputation as Kazekage but she would be certain that it put as much of a damper in his love life as their invasion of her own love life had.

Not all sisters were comfortable with the knowledge that their brothers knew that their sister was having sex. Then again she supposed that they wouldn't be comfortable with their sister knowing that her brothers were having sex either. Sex was just a topic that none of them really talked about and chose to ignore.

Her fingers spread across her lower abdomen as she thought about the child growing within her. Shikamaru would find out tonight and hopefully he'd be as thrilled as she was. Until then, she concluded, it would be time to take a look at the women her brothers had chosen.

Of course she had forgotten about the _adopted_ brother that lived in Konoha. Temari groaned softly to herself as she listened to Naruto rambling about some new flavor of ramen that he had tried while on some mission. "I swear it was nothing like I've ever tasted before!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly. "So when I got back I immediately went to the ramen stand and started explaining the flavor and you know what I found out?"

"What?"

A serious expression showed on the blonde's face as he answered, "It was fried vegetables."

Laughter left the woman's lips as she looked at the other blonde, her eyes dancing with laughter. "You mean to tell me that you've never had fried vegetables?" Temari laughed.

"I didn't think that ramen and vegetables mixed!"

Now she was wishing that she had been introduced to the blonde before. God knew that there was some kind of miracle that he had survived this long and in retrospect it really wasn't any surprise that the man was somewhere on the small side. "Honestly, Naruto." Temari said as she calmed down. "How in the world did you survive this long?"

"Luck."

Apparently. She just wondered how much luck that kid had left if he used most of it to help him survive this long. "So what can you tell me about this Hinata and this Anko?" Temari questioned.

Naruto looked at her with a questioning look. "What'cha wanna know?" Naruto questioned.

"What kind of women are they? Last I knew, that Hinata girl was on the quiet side."

"She is. She's sweet and loving."

"And this Anko?"

Naruto visibly shuddered. "Psychotic," responded the blue-eyed man.

"How psychotic are we talking?"

"Licks blood off her kunai. Give her dango and she's happy. Rumor has it that she'd even kill for some."

Was that so? "Tell me more about this Hinata girl." Temari said lightly.

Naruto eyed her warily. "Why do I get the feeling that this is some kind of demented sibling payback that I'm now caught up in since I'm like a brother?" Naruto questioned.

"Because it is." Temari responded lightly. "You're younger than Gaara so you're officially the kid brother that'll do what his big sister says and your big sister demands information about Hinata."

If it weren't for the fact that Suna and Konoha were close allies, Naruto figured that he'd have reason to be afraid. "Well, there's the common knowledge stuff like she's the heiress of the Hyuuga household." Naruto said slowly.

"What about fighting? How's she at defending herself?"

"She's got awesome skill!"

As she listened to Naruto talk about the two women, Temari found herself remember a time when her brothers were first learning math. The ever simple "two plus two equals" question had always been an interesting one for them and this time she was reminding herself that two plus two didn't always equal four.

Despite appearances and popular belief Shikamaru was capable of some romance. It was usually just too much of a bother to plan anything remotely extravagant that would have the girls talking for days afterwards. When Temari told him that she needed to talk to him, he figured that he'd better do some romance in the event that she wanted to break up with him.

Normally he wouldn't do this for some girl but his Temari wasn't just some girl. His Temari was the essence of untamed beauty that wouldn't take crap from anybody. Not even her brothers got away with anything although he seemed to recall her allowing Gaara to get away with things when he had been homicidally insane. Now he wasn't even allowed to get away with the same things he had been able to before.

"Am I in the right place?"

Shikamaru rubbed his head as he looked at the blonde woman, seeing the surprise and amusement in her eyes. "It's going to be such a drag if you don't like it." Shikamaru told her with a bored expression.

"It's not that. I just wasn't expecting it."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her softly, resting his forehead against hers. "I figure girls don't like to break up with their boyfriends in romantic settings." Shikamaru said.

Confusion showed on Temari's face. "Break up? Who said anything about breaking up?" Temari questioned.

"You said you wanted to talk to me about something important."

"Not about breaking up." A sigh left her lips. "Shika, you'd better sit for this one."

There was something going on. "What?" Shikamaru asked with a confused look on his face.

"I'm about two months pregnant."

He stared at her in shock and for a moment Temari was worried that she had somehow rendered her boyfriend completely incapable of a simple thought process. "Pregnant?" Shikamaru asked softly.

"Yep."

His eyes flickered to her stomach as if trying to see the growing baby through her skin. "Holy…" Suddenly he wasn't entirely sure if a romantic setting had been such a good idea.

As if sensing his doubt, Temari smiled and softly kissed him. "I love this." Temari told him. "Now, what'd you have in mind for dinner?"

Two plus two generally equaled four. When it came to siblings, that wasn't always the case. Sometimes two plus two equaled five or something else. The sum usually resulted in whatever the situation called for and in this case, two plus two called for five.

Kankuro, a clown by nature, chose a psychotic woman that Temari was fairly certain would happily castrate her brother if she ever caught him cheating. The woman was just too kunai happy whereas her brother was puppet happy. Somehow she could see the woman tearing the puppets apart or something if Kankuro got too involved in a project.

Gaara, distant and aloof, had chosen someone Temari was fairly certain her brother needed. That woman was gentle and loving albeit a bit shy. She wouldn't hurt Gaara and Temari was fairly certain that Gaara wouldn't hurt her. He'd be a little dense at times but there wasn't a guy on the planet that didn't have his moments of idiocy.

Then there was her and Shikamaru. Whereas she was serious, he was lazy. There were moments where she wanted to kill him but she wouldn't have him any other way. He was simply Shikamaru Nara, father of her child.

Yes, two plus two may have equaled four most of the time but there were days where nothing made sense and those were the days when two plus two made five.

* * *

lostmoonchild: And that's Rule Nine. You know I just realized as I was working on this chapter that the next one is going to be the last one? Kira, I'm hoping my costume gets lots of compliments. total, I actually hope the same for you and wish that all siblings are as close as they grow up. Hinata, I'm glad the chapter made your day. cast, really glad you love the story. Okay, ladies and gents, ja ne for now!


	10. Rule 10: 'InLaw' Means 'Legal Torture'

lostmoonchild: Thanks for the reviews, everybody! I think I'm going to cry cause this is the last chapter. It's just a matter of if these are tears of joy or tears of sorrow cause I almost started on Sunday when the convention ended. Two people took my picture and I got lots of pictures in return but I almost started crying when they said it'd be a year and a half for the next one. Anyway, here's the final chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto so don't sue me.

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Rule Ten: "In-Law" Means "Legal Torture"

Kankuro would be lying if he said that he didn't take pleasure in tormenting his brother-in-law and he knew that his wife took pleasure in torturing her brother-in-law as well as her sister-in-law. Tormenting Temari was probably Anko's favorite pastime since the blonde would respond with an act that was usually just as violent.

Then again, Kankuro mused, teasing his sister-in-law was fun too. He loved the way that her cheeks would turn bright red when he began teasing her although he was quick to stop when Gaara glared at him. Honestly whoever created the term "in-law" should have had the sense to see that it means "legal torture" in the eyes of the protective siblings.

The brunette couldn't help but grin as he eyed his brother-in-law who was _supposed_ to be making sure that the little toddler stayed out of trouble but was instead staring up at the clouds. Such a lazy man really shouldn't have been given the privilege of reproduction although he suspected that his brother and sister both said something along the same lines about him. "Yo, Nara!" Kankuro called as he approached.

"You do realize that your sister has my last name now." Shikamaru responded as he pulled himself up, his dark eyes flickering over to the toddler that was happily making a small mountain of sand.

"Yeah, yeah." Kankuro waved his hand dismissively. "Minor details."

Shikamaru eyed his brother-in-law carefully for a moment before asking warily, "What do you want?"

"What? I can't come see my brother-in-law just because I want to?"

"Troublesome."

Kankuro grinned before answering, "If your kid starts saying that then Temari's gonna kill you."

Shikamaru got up and picked up the toddler, sighing when he realized that his son had started to eat the sand. "Can't pull any pranks, Kankuro. I've got a kid." Shikamaru stated as he put a finger in the boy's mouth and started working on wiping out the sand. "Ouch!"

Kankuro started laughing at the realization that his nephew had just bitten the lazy man. "That's not funny. He's been biting everybody and that includes Temari." Shikamaru said as he started working on getting the rest of the sand out of his son's mouth. "No biting. That's not nice." "And yet Daddy keeps putting his finger in Taru's mouth. That's asking for a repeat if you ask me." Kankuro mused.

"Don't you have a pregnant wife at home to deal with?" Shikamaru grumbled.

"Yep."

"Then go."

"Nah."

Satisfied that Taru's mouth was remotely clean and that Temari wasn't going to kill him, Shikamaru set the boy down and watched as he went back to playing in the sand. "You're still here." Shikamaru stated five minutes later.

Kankuro grinned as he patted Shikamaru's hair, his grin growing wider as he saw the distrustful look that his brother-in-law was giving him. "You don't trust me." Kankuro feigned hurt at the already known fact.

"What a drag." Shikamaru sighed. "Come on, Taru, let's get you inside for a nap."

"No nap!" Taru shouted, his small feet kicking as Shikamaru picked him up. "Dada bad! No nap!"

"Yes nap."

Kankuro laughed as he took off leaving the lazy man alone with an upset toddler. The boy may have taken Shikamaru's looks but his temperament was definitely Temari's. Ah, sweet revenge.

Unable to keep from chuckling, Kankuro darted home fully prepared for the onslaught of kunai that would without a doubt be flying at him. Gods he loved his wife.

Curses left Shikamaru's lips as he looked disgustedly at the wad of gum that was in his hair. There were several possibilities as to how the gum got there except the only possibility that was likely involved Kankuro. Damn bastard.

Dark eyes eyed the wad carefully before he sighed in defeat. They had run out of peanut butter and he wasn't about to go to town with gum in his hair so that left cutting it out. Grabbing his kunai, Shikamaru took a deep breath and began cutting the sticky mess.

Temari couldn't deny that it was always interesting to see what exactly her husband would do to get back at Kankuro for whatever prank had been pulled. Not even Gaara could resist watching the two men go at each other for very long. However when Kankuro did something to Shikamaru's hair then she was usually there to step in. It wasn't that Shikamaru couldn't handle himself, it was just that she liked his hair.

Now she knew full well that she could simply go after her sister-in-law but it would be low to go after said sister-in-law when said sister-in-law was pregnant. No, she'd have to sit back and see what exactly her husband was planning. When he actually decided to use that brain of his it was common knowledge that he was a force to be feared. It really was no wonder why Naruto would have him help with strategy.

As Temari looked at her husband and saw the familiar look in his eyes, she decided it would just be better this time if she let Shikamaru teach Kankuro why his hair was better off left alone. Whatever Shikamaru had planned or was currently working on would be a lesson that Kankuro wouldn't soon forget.

Technically Naruto was the one best suited for pulling pranks but it seemed wrong to pull the blonde-haired idiot into the mix when he really had no idea what was going to happen. Gaara and Hinata had been warned and his wife already knew so that just left Anko to inform but there was the possibility that she was going to tell Kankuro and then he'd avoid punishment. No, as much as he feared Anko it would probably be in his best interests to keep his mouth shut this time around.

With his plan formed within his mind, Shikamaru set to work.

He knew full well that his brother-in-law had something planned but unfortunately he couldn't figure out what exactly it was that he was thinking. Smart people had always been a pain in the butt for the brunette and the biggest pains in his butt were both sitting across from him. "You're serious. No hard feelings?" Kankuro asked warily.

"Sure. You probably just forgot that the gum was in your hand." Shikamaru said simply.

Kankuro eyed the other brunette carefully for a moment before picking up his tea. He took a sip, eyeing his brother-in-law carefully before his dark eyes widened in shock and he spat the tea out. His eyes began watering as a fire spread throughout his mouth, burning his tongue and throat. "The hell did you do to my tea?" Kankuro shouted as he tried the douse the fire.

Shikamaru smirked slightly before answering, "Don't you remember? 'In-law' means 'legal torture' doesn't it?"

God damn it! Despite his burning tongue and the tears that were gathering in his eyes, Kankuro couldn't help but be proud. For having been a single child his entire life, Kankuro couldn't deny that his brother-in-law had pulled off that rule beautifully. Laughing, Kankuro clapped the younger man on the back before answering, "Welcome to the family."

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lostmoonchild: And that's a wrap! Thank you all so much for the reviews and I hope to see reviews coming even after this story's been completed for x number of months. You all have been wonderful reviewers and perhaps I'll write another fic like this after I have a chance to speak to my brother about the whole thing. Also, thanks to everybody that's put this story as your favorite or an update alert. Ja ne!


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